5 Shades of CapFringe

Ah, Capital Fringe Festival, you do not disappoint!  My CapFringe 2012 so far:

The Good: "We, Tiresias": well-written, well-staged, and well-acted retelling/reimagining of the life of the oracle Tiresias, played at various stages in his/her life by 3 actors, who alternately play the other characters, including Oedipus.   Also good: "Dead Man's Mambo": a slapshtick-y commedia dell-arte improv mashup by a very talented actor, with the put-upon deadpan foil perfectly played by the young artist I'm housing this year.
I recommend you see both of these in the few remaining performances each has next week.
Also good, BFF with Brian Feldman, performance artist and my new BFF!

Stay tuned for my separate post on BFF.

The Bad: "A Year of Giving": the writer/lead "actor" did a very interesting project (give away $10/day each day for a year) about 2-3 years ago.  He blogged about it.  But he can't act, and it comes across as schmaltzy on stage. It should have remained a blog.

The Ugly:  "City of God" (the David Koresh opera). Omg, where to start with this disaster? The recorded (but original) music was too loud, so I couldn't hear the voices all the time.  The singers/actors were very young, and though most could sing well, none really acted well. The guy playing Koresh pranced about stage like a gay pride parade float reject.  A cult leader needs more swagger, less swish. The story/lyrics were stilted. The composer can't sing, yet cast himself as a major character. Just, ugh. (Though the penultimate scene, a duet between the baritone FBI negotiator and tenor Koresh, was powerful, vocally, even if I didn't understand the lyrics because these singers didn't enunciate well and were overpowered by the taped music.)

But even in disappointing (terrible, awful) productions, you, CapFringe, have provided a venue to talent who may just need more time on stage so that next time (or the time after that) they may write or produce or direct or act or sing in a worthy production.

Help! I've rented a performance artist for 2 hours and don't know what to do!

It's that time of year again: the Capital Fringe Festival. Three weeks of sometimes amazing, sometimes awful, experimental and low-budget theater (and opera, dance, and puppetry) in sometimes-airconditioned venues.  All only blocks from my home!

And I need your help this year.  I bought a ticket to "BFF," a show by performance artist Brian Feldman.  (Read this WaPo article for more about the artist.)  The show is billed like this:

It could change your life. Perhaps the most conceptual offering in Capital Fringe history, BFF explores friendship through two hour "friend building" excursions. Only 50 people can attend these one-on-one experiences, hanging out with one of DC's top performance artists.

Yup -- for the low CapFringe ticket price of $17 (but free for me because I got a free pass for housing an artist again this year*), I am going to hang out with my new BFF Brian Feldman.  For 2 hours.  Just the 2 of us.  Next Friday, during rush hour. But wtf should we do?

I love the idea.  It's taking me -- a non-artist, typically passive audience member -- and making me think about the art in advance.  And then live it for 2 hours.  And I have no fucking idea what we should do for 2 hours.  All I know is (1) it's gotta be something nearby (which includes lots of good stuff: my house, including gym/pool; the mall; museums; white house; supreme court; MLK main library; tons of restaurants, grocery stores, bars, etc.); and (2) it can't feel like a date (I do enough dating already).

I've run it by some friends, and here's the ideas so far:

1. Use this as an opportunity for me to re-learn how to ride a bicycle, with the encouragement of my new BFF.  (I haven't ridden a bike in over 20 years.)  Then maybe hang out at my building's rooftop pool.
2. Read 50 Shades of Grey (which my mom just mailed to me) together, aloud. In the Safeway. Until we're kicked out.  Then maybe hang out at my building's rooftop pool.
3. Protest something absurd.  Like "Transportation." Possibly at Union Station. (Or the Supreme Court).
4. Go see a Fringe show together.
5. Volunteer somewhere, maybe picking up trash. 
6. No matter what I do, make my new BFF think I'm earnest about it.
7. Live tweet or Facebook or Instragram or film what we do.
8. Obvs, become Facebook friends with my new BFF.

What do y'all think of these?  And I'd love to hear more ideas.  (And, btw, the 50 Shades of Grey idea is far and away the idea most people love so far.)

*For the 3rd year in row, I've volunteered to house an unknown-to-me Fringe artist from out of the DC area.  This time a composer from Philadelphia. And, for the 3rd year in a row, to the naysayers I say: "If I'm murdered, you can't say 'I told you so' because I'm already dead."

Million (give or take 999,800) Mustache March

Thanks to one of the neighborhood blogs, I learned about the "Million Mustache March" taking place in the area today.  Obvs, given my fondness for scruffy hipster types, I went to check out what I hoped would be some fine displays of ironic facial hair.  The 100 or so (I'll be generous here) 200 marchers were, indeed, a scruffy little band, with ironic stick-on facial hair,

ironic chants ("occupy your upper lip"),

ironic signs,

and, unfortunately, ironic spandex.  Red spandex on men:  NOT GOOD:

But, given the dearth of cute hipsters to my liking, the best thing I saw were these non-ironically-retro-dressed Christian proselytizers along the route, who put down their pamphlets and instruments and watched in stunned silence:

Clusterfu@#k for Sanity and/or Fear

I arrived at the rally by 3rd street at around 11 am and it was already sardine territory. The stage was at 3rd street and the furthest jumbotron and speakers were at around 6th street. I got anxious, so kept moving further back through the crowd. I wandered along the mall to about 14th street or so, and there were still more people. We couldn't hear a thing but each other. But there were great signs:

And one Footloose reference:

And many, many, many pro-masturbation signs:

And several anchor baby signs:

And great costumes, including everyone's four favorite fast food icons:

and Jesus:


And, of course, Nixon and fat Elvis:

I found 11 Waldos (though only got pictures of 7 of them). Here's one:

There are many more photos (including the other 6 Waldos) on the Dispatch on Facebook.

Ain't no party like a Glenn Beck party

Glenn Beck came to Washington, DC Saturday.  Obvs, I had to go and take pictures.  We parked near GW and walked down to the mall, passing all sorts of bumper-stickered and messaged cars, including one with a discarded jeans diaper next to it:

Got to the mall and saw what I expected.  Oodles of red, white, and blue and flags a plenty:

And Reagan fetishists:

And statements that I'm/We're "not racist":

And patriotic Christians:

And, bringing, one could say, a bit of Texarkana to our nation's capitol, Christians carrying 8-foot crosses:

And a hungry Satan pregnant with Glenn Beck's child:

As I said.  Just what I was expecting.  So to speak.

Walked back towards GW and the car, where I saw t-shirts whose messages were a bit more familiar:

There were more pictures than I could/should put in this post.  If you want to see more of the pictures I took today, see the album at the Texarkana Dispatch on Facebook.

Mushrooms for all! Mushrooms for democracy!

This 4th of July "expect delays" sign was stuck in holiday traffic in Chinatown this weekend.  It got me to thinking:  other than delays, what makes an American democracy?  Of course, I turned to the letters to the editor of the Texarkana Gazette (not a church newsletter!), where I was reminded of the importance of the franchise:

I wonder how the straight party line ticket works when you're voting for Jesus (since he is omnipresent and all).  But, if Jesus isn't running for every office, how should I be guided in determining what's best for American democracy?  Again, the Gazette letters to the editor provides the answers (check out the green arrow):

God has spoken!  And he wants Americans to choose the fancy mushrooms!

The People, United, Will Never Be Defeated! (Irony Edition)

(photo by uncredited co-worker, to protect the innocent)

On the way back to the office after getting coffee this morning, a co-worker made me stop and watch this protest.  


Apparently this was one of a series of protests today (and this weekend) in DC.  So what was this group protesting?  A law firm in the building, according to the guy passing out flyers.  The conversation went something like this:

• Me: So, what are y'all protesting? 
• Flyer guy: This law firm.
• Co-worker:  Why?
• Flyer guy:  They're one of the biggest lobbyists there is.
• Me:  Huh?  Are you protesting the firm or its clients?
• Flyer guy:  Um . . . 
• Me:  I mean, is your problem that they lobby? Or their lobbying on behalf of a particular client?
• Flyer guy:  They lobby for the slumlords.
• Co-worker:  The slumlord trade association?
• Flyer guy:  All of them!
• Me:  So you're expressing your first amendment rights against lawyers who help people express their first amendment rights?
• Flyer Guy:  The people, united, will never be defeated!

(I made that last one up.)  Yea!  First Amendment in action!

OMFG Edition

Now that I'm no longer living in Texas, I have to experience Texas elections from afar.  One of my fondest memories of Texas elections up close: I was working at a San Antonio precinct for a primary election.  One of the voters asked me where the button was to vote the straight party (I won't say which one) ticket.  Not sure he really understood when I explained to him that, in the Texas primary election, all the candidates he was considering were from the same party.  

Anyway, I was checking out the Texas primary election returns tonight.  Beyond the candidates and offices, I always like to check out the party resolution/proposition questions, like these voted on today by TX GOP primary voters:

Good god, can't you put the comma inside the quotes?  

Choose Waffles Edition

Another photo of random anti-abortion folks I saw during lunch today.  Are they picketing the Lincoln Waffle House?  I'll let you choose for yourself.

Horsesh@$&t Edition

Busy day at office.  Didn't have much time to take photos to dispatch evidence of the anti-abortion march in town today for Roe v Wade's b-day.  But did take this lovely aftermath one.  Enjoy.

Choose your Amendment Edition

Last year, Jon Stewart helped me understand whether or not I was a real American.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Quiz: Are You a Real American?
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

I think back to that simpler day when I had only to choose: First or Second Amendment? Today, my world is so much more dangerous, so much more complex. Today, I had both!

This morning, I was driven out to the 'burbs to replace my lost work ID. Specifically, I was driven to an office in the NRA building in Fairfax, VA. Did you know the NRA building also is home to the National Firearms Museum? Neither did I! Unfortunately, it was one of those days, so even though I took about 4 pix -- including one of a lobby window with oodles of guns and another of the text of the second amendment in gold letters -- only this one crappy picture came out:

But, wait! There's more! I got the new ID, went back to work, and after work saw this sign from the American Humanists (aka, atheists) on the 54 bus:

I'm proud to be an _________

99 and 44/100% Pure Edition

I guess this is obituary week at the Texarkana Dispatch. First, Judith Krug, first amendment champion, and now Marilyn Chambers - ivory soap mom, porn star, and plastic surgery victim in the early Cronenberg film Rabid, who died last weekend. See what I did with my Chambers-autographed Behind the Green Door video here. Read the NYT obit here.



I saw Rabid in one of the "film fests" I did with my friend Anthony when we were in college. We'd basically rent every movie we could get by a particular director and watch every one in chronological order over the course of a (usually very long) day in one of our living rooms. Sometimes we had guests pop in and out for one or more of the films, but often it was just me and Anthony. Let me tell you, a full day of David Cronenberg is rough going.


If only I believed in an afterlife . . . How awesome to think of librarian/anti-censorship crusader Judith Krug and pure mom/porn queen Marilyn Chambers meeting in the hereafter. Sweet.

Banned Books, RIP, Edition

Judith Krug, the creator of Banned Books Week, died last weekend. In honor of her important work, I'm reposting a picture from my banned books week window display from back in Texarkana:




Click here to read more about Judith Krug. Click here to see more of my banned books week display.

Courthouse Cross Edition

Hello all. After my last dispatch this evening, I brought a thermos of coffee to my friend Ann over at the Miller County (Arkansas) courthouse. She's the county clerk and, I believe, election commissioner. In any case, she has to stay until all the precincts in the county bring the votes in. I brought my camera and little Dascher in hopes of getting him an election photo op. I got so much more. Enjoy the photo above of Dash and me with the precinct map. And Dash in the official county records vault (real scary vault door) with Ann in front of old election minutes:

And an awesome built in clock in this WPA-built courthouse:





And the "what happens in Arkansas stays in Arkansas" marraige license sign:


No sibling jokes, please.

But the real gem is the courthouse cross with bible:



I've been in that building a number of times (car registration, visiting Ann, etc.) and can't believe I've never seen it before. The bible is glued down onto the cross (I checked), though whether this is to prevent its theft by poor believers or ACLU-radical types is anyone's guess. And I thought this was going to be a religion-free dispatch. I don't know what I was thinking. It is, after all, Texarkana.

Love from the trenches,
Jessica

Banned Books Edition

I saw some hullaballoo on CNN yesterday about a Jesus doll. Well, rest assured -- one Jesus doll safely escaped from his WalMart prison and has been happily reading To Kill a Mockingbird for the last month outside my loft! Enjoy these pix of my "Read Banned Books" window in which Jesus (with his Barbie friends) has been expanding his mind.

Also - pix of the box, which my eagle-eyed friend Carrie noted is labeled "Jesus, God's Son."

For the proper reverence, I imagine.

I was going to put up the new window tonight, but the annual Blues and BBQ fest is going on now through tomorrow right in front of my place. I don't want folks seeing that the "key" to the window displays is an oversized screwdriver. (For the locals - please don't steal Jesus!)

Love from the trenches,

Jessica