Awful things #1: food trucks

I have been given a new blogging mission: write about "awful things" chosen by disgruntled coworker.  His first three topics prove what an ass he is, since they are all things that are demonstrably NOT awful.  #afterbirth

For this inaugural edition of "awful things," I present: food trucks.  Which, according to the best real-time mapping website of food truck tweets in DC,  are awfully far away from me today on my day off.  Which sucks, because I only went to 1 food truck this week and it's such a beautiful day to grab some food and eat outdoors in the sun.

Oh well, I enjoyed the sun during a 5 mile run earlier today past the Lincoln and WWII Memorials and Washington Monument, where I saw not 1, but 2 tourists taking pictures of the monument as their penises.  Not this Monument penis:

because they were human.  I really need to run with a camera.  Running tally of these morons I've seen on the mall:  4!

So, food trucks.  The problem with getting delicious, cheap food from a food truck and enjoying it al fresco on a beautiful spring day is that you miss out on the ambiance of an indoor place like the Saints Paradise Cafeteria here in the Mt. Vernon Square neighborhood:

Love is the main ingredient (in the southern and soul food) because it's part of the United House of Prayer for All People church.  Customers go through the cafeteria line to get the food -- like pigs feet and fried chicken and greens and mac and cheese -- in styrofoam containers.  (No biodegradable recycled paper containers like the food trucks use here!)  But in the seating area is a permanently-set table for the church's pastor, with gold-leafed china and glass:

That type of display is just not possible in or on a food truck!

The Eritrea next door

I was trying to find the number for the Eritrean Civic and Cultural Center  because I was craving some of their delicious beef and collards and wanted to know their hours.  Why the hell don't they have a website? I ended up looking for them via the AroundMe app.  To shortcut it, I just entered "Eritrean," figuring, since it was "around me," the app would find it.  Nope.  It found Eritrea. Almost 7000 miles away.  Eventually found the number for the tastiest frickin ethiopian-esque food in my neighborhood via my map function.  Go there!  Soon!

And UPDATE:  I saw my second dumbass taking a picture of the Washington Monument as his penis while running this weekend.  Not this chick:

Because he was a man.  Running tally:  2!

My monument is more unique!

I run now, and my route takes me down to the mall. Not the Texarkana Central Mall, which will cease to exist on January 25, 2032, when Jesus appears, but the National Mall. As of today, I am going to keep statistics of how many men I see while I'm running who are taking photos of the Washington Monument as their penises. Tally as of today: one. Not this guy:

or this guy:

or even this guy:

but like these guys, all of whom I found in the totally safe Google image search for "Washington Monument Penis." Apologies for not taking my own pic. I was running and didn't have my dispatching equipment with me. Though he did. Ba da bing!