Saturday, May 10, 2008

Joe "I'll Report Ya" Kilgore Edition

Another box packed, another post blogged. Among my very first Texarkana Dispatches, originally sent feb. 7, 2007, was this:
Questionable bible-belt thinking #1: the fact
that somebody actually believed this was letter-to-the editor-worthy.

Questionable bible-belt thinking #2: the fact that the newspaper printed it. The full text of the funniest letter to the editor I think I've ever read, from today's Texarkana Gazette:

I was walking at the mall on 2-3-07. There were booths set up for companies to advertise their local services and to sell stuff. I couldn't help but notice one was not represented. I asked three different booth operators if Jesus had a booth. I was told no, three times. I was sad to see with so many people attending that no one had thought of a booth where Jesus could be talked about to people who need Jesus in their life. A lot of missed opportunities here. Next time, maybe several local Christian churches could pass out free literature, Bibles and talk to people to win more souls for Christ. On Jan. 25, 2032, when
Central Mall will be no more (does the exact date really matter?), Jesus will be here. All that pretty 'stuff' and building materials will return to dust. Whatever earthly thing that replaces it will also be gone in another 50 years. Jesus will still be the last one standing. --J.K., Texarkana, Texas

While at the time, I considered (and rejected) the possibility that "J.K." meant this apocalyptic Christian was "just kidding," I've since speculated that "J.K." is Joe Kilgore, local landlord, drug-free-zone vigilante, and animal lover. Here are some photos I took this week of Joe's thrift store/apartments:
and some pix of Joe's it's-not-a-crack-hotel a bit further down Hwy 67:

and, in case you don't feel the full flavor of nasty that is this place, take a look to the left of the sign:the middle window? That's not a brown curtain. That's dirt. Dirty filth. I wanted to take more photos, but really felt like I was being watched. I've heard that the signs were changed a day or two later, something about no new signs until July 4th. I'll check it out and get back to you. If I don't get shot.

No comments: